How Do I Know What I Want?

Knowing what we want seems like it should be the easiest thing in the world, right?  Why, then, can it be SO hard?  So often I ask people, “What do you really want?”   I then see pain, confusion or frustration on his or her face when they say, “I don’t know.”  That’s often followed up with, “I think there’s something wrong with me.”  This is so sad.  Confusion followed by self-condemnation.  Not the kind of 2fer we hope for.

There are many reasons why we get confused and/or blocked around our wants.  We may have had our wants met with criticism in the past.  Possibly even being accused of being selfish.  We may have expressed wants and had those desires ignored.  One way or another, however, many of us have learned to keep our wants hidden.  Some of us have gotten so good at it that we even hide our knowing from ourselves.  Then we loose access to what we want and our confusion makes sense.

The good news is that we can rekindle knowledge of our wants.  Ironically, a very helpful place to start can be listing what we don’t want.   It’s so interesting that our dislikes are often easier to know than our likes.  Whatever we do know is information.  It’s the trail of bread crumbs to follow to find the deeper truth.  It can be a gentle process of elimination.  For example, if I’m clear I don’t like crowds and noise, than maybe I do like being with people one on one in a quiet setting.  If I know I hate working from home and the quiet drives me crazy, than maybe I like the bustle of people around me.

If we can let go of the “What’s wrong with me?” and cultivate what we do know, even if it seems negative, we can go from there.  Just as an experiment, make a list of things, activities, experiences you know you dislike.  Pick one and consider tapping.  “Even though I know I hate my job, I accept myself exactly where I am.”  “Even though I hate spending half the day on the phone, I’m open to seeing this as information to help me.”  “Even though my job really stresses me out, I’m open to new insight and compassion.”  Then vent about the dislike.  Don’t hold back.  Give it all you’ve got!  After a couple of rounds rest.  See what new insight bubbles up to the surface.  Observe, explore as you tap.  See if a moment doesn’t arrive like, “You know, what I really want to be different is . . . ”  “What I’d really like to spend my time doing is . . . ”  You just reached your heart’s desire through the knowledge of a dislike. 

Give it a try.  Let me know how it goes – and, keep Tapping Prayerfully (that’s with trust that the truth is already inside you).  Blessings, Jeanne